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今天写一篇有点沉重的日志。照片上那个戴帽子的小孩是我爸，站着的小姑娘是我姑姑，右面的小伙是我伯父，左边是我奶奶。照片拍摄于1958年左右。
就在这一年后，中国大陆经历了三年大饥荒（1959-1961），这三年也就是教科书上所说的“大跃进运动”时期。领导者决定牺牲农业发展工业，这个政策导致全国性的粮食短缺和饥荒。至于那个时期具体的非正常死亡人数，目前仍存在较大争议，按照不同资料的记载，争议的范围从300万至8000万不等。
不止一次从我奶奶口中听到这段经历：当时家里是不许自己做饭的，谁家烟筒要是冒烟，公社马上来人抄家，把锅灶全部砸烂。每顿吃的都是公社统一发的一小碗稀饭，别无它物，人饿得走路都走不稳。即便如此，每天还要集体到田里劳动。走路都走不稳怎么干活呢？其实不干活！一群人坐在田地边，一起喊劳动口号而已。太饿了，实在动不了，只能喊喊口号。后来连稀饭都喝不上了，树皮、草根、野菜，弄到什么吃什么，有些时候就是生啃，因为家里不许生火。很多人走着走着就直接倒在路边，饿死过去。
有一天集体喊劳动口号，我奶奶觉得太累，于是提前回家。发现当时只有几岁的我爸爸在床上抽搐着，饿的口吐白沫，马上就要不行了。旁边的一户人家里以前有个盛面的竹筐，不过已经空了很久了，我奶奶从那个竹筐的缝隙里，硬是抠出了一小撮面粉，对上一碗水，生上火烧开，喂给我爸爸喝。就这样，我爸爸才缓过来。我奶奶说，要不是她那天提前回家，我爸爸肯定挺不过来的。
领导人的一个决定，可以影响到一个国家的无数人，甚至有无数人因为那个决定而丧命，这难道不比异族侵略的杀戮更残忍吗？当时的政府在三年困难时期，仍然大量进行粮食输出和对外援助。这种援助换取的所谓外交支持充满血腥的味道。
前国务院副总理田纪云说：“回顾三年困难时期，到处闹浮肿，饿死人，非正常死亡人口达数千万，比整个民主革命时期死的人还要多。是什么原因？刘少奇说‘三分天灾，七分人祸’，现在看基本上是人祸，这个‘人祸’就是瞎指挥，就是乌托邦式的空想社会主义。” （田纪云：《回顾中国农村改革历程》)
至今，依然没有人为瞎指挥道歉。
昨天看到这样一条微博：@caochangdi ：【纽约3】12月1日。民间记忆计划在纽约大学宣传单出来了，题目是Getting the Past Out Loud: Memory Projects with Wu Wenguang。简介提到：五部纪录片，来自民间记忆计划。该计划出发于北京草场地工作站，以“大饥荒”历史采访搜集开始，年轻的纪录片作者分头返回家乡村子，返回过去，返回真实和想象。 戏剧性出现是其中一个老人，他坚决同意片子到国外放映，并且一个个去说服那些不同意国外放映的老人，直至每个人都被说服。这个过程都在《吃饱的村子》片子中。
这个项目意义非凡。记录、反思、宣传这些历史，才能避免其重演，才能让更多更多真相不会随着时间流逝而永埋地下。活着的，都是那三年人祸的幸存者，而我们，是幸存者的后代。 应当有更多这样的组织和个人，来记录那些亲历者的口述历史。甚至那些民间的老行当、老手艺、老城、老巷，都很值得做系统的影像整理和记录。的确，时光和记忆都不等人。
I'm writing a somewhat heavy journal today. The kid in the photo with the hat is my dad; the little girl standing is my aunt; the guy on the right is my uncle, and the one on the left is my grandmother. The photo was taken around 1958.
Just after that year, mainland China experienced the three-year famine (1959-1961), which is also known as the "Great Leap Forward Movement" in textbooks. The leaders decided to develop industry at the expense of agriculture, a policy that led to nationwide food shortages and famine. As for the exact number of unnatural deaths during that period, there is still a big controversy, ranging from 3 million to 80 million according to different sources.
I heard this experience more than once from my grandmother: At that time, families were not allowed to cook for themselves, and if smoke came out of anyone's pipe, the commune immediately came to raid the house and smashed all the pots and stoves. Every meal was a small bowl of thin rice issued by the commune, nothing else, and people were so hungry that they couldn't walk steadily. Even so, they had to work in the fields collectively every day. How could we work if we couldn't even walk steadily? Actually, we don't work! A group of people sat at the edge of the field and shouted slogans together. Too hungry to move, they could only shout slogans. Later, even thin rice congee was not available, and people had to rely on bark, grassroots, wild vegetables, and whatever they could get for food. Sometimes they had to eat raw because the family is not allowed to start a fire. Many people walked and fell directly on the roadside and died of hunger.
One day, my grandmother went home early because she was too tired to shout labor slogans. My father, who was only a few years old at the time, was found convulsing in bed, foaming at the mouth from hunger, and was about to die. My grandmother found a small handful of flour from the tiny gaps in the bamboo basket, put it in a bowl of water, boiled it over a fire, and fed it to my father. That's how my dad got over it. My grandmother said that if she hadn't come home early that day, my father would not have been able to make it through.
A decision by a leader can affect countless people in a country, and countless people have even died because of that decision, isn't that crueler than the killing by foreign invaders? The government of the time still engaged in massive food exports and foreign aid during the three years of hardship. This aid in exchange for so-called diplomatic support smelled of bloodshed.
Former Vice Premier Tian Jiyun said, "Looking back at the three-year hardship period, there were malnourished edema and starving deaths everywhere, and tens of millions of people died unnaturally, more than during the entire democratic revolution. What is the reason? Liu Shaoqi said '30% natural disaster, 70% man-made disaster', now it is basically a man-made disaster, this 'man-made disaster' is the blind command, is the utopian ideal socialism." (Tian Jiyun: "Reviewing the History of China's Rural Reform")
To date, no one has apologized for the blind command.
Yesterday I saw this post on Weibo: @caochangdi : [New York 3] Dec. 1. The Folk Memory Project's flyer at NYU came out, titled Getting the Past Out Loud: Memory Projects with Wu Wenguang, and the introduction mentions: five documentaries from the Folk Memory Project. The project began with a workstation in Caochangdi, Beijing, where the young documentarians returned to their home villages, to the past, to the real and the imagined, starting with historical interviews on the Great Famine. The drama emerges with one of the old men, who strongly agree to show the film abroad, and goes one by one to convince those who do not agree to show the film abroad until everyone is convinced. This process is all in the film "The Well-Fed Village".
This project is very meaningful. To record, reflect on and publicize these histories in order to avoid their repetition and to keep more and more truths from being buried forever with the passage of time. Those who are alive are the survivors of those three years of human disaster, and we, the descendants of the survivors. There should be more such organizations and individuals to record the oral history of those who lived through it. Even those old folk trades, old crafts, old towns, and old alleys are worthy of systematic image compilation and recording. Indeed, time and memory wait for no one.
发布日期：2011-12-02 09:45:01
本页链接：https://www.yuejun.org/post/three-years-of-famine-in-china-family-account
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